Go: Part 2 – Reality?
I wish I could say that it feels like I’m not in the dream stage anymore. Well, it is something like that. It is no longer as if I am watching me live my life. It’s as if I am just living my life. Though, it still seems like it’s a life that’s not mine.
After so many years of feeling like an outsider, a reject, it seems very odd to be so popular. In the 10 days I’ve been here I’ve been called brave, fearless, inspiring, and social. I’ve never considered myself any of those things.
I’m not sure if it’s from giving up fear for Lent, in fact, I know for fact that it is because I gave up fear for Lent. I feel that because it was so easy for me to give up, that it is something that I knew would be good for me to finally come into who I am supposed to be. A brave, fearless, inspiring and social human being. Not letting useless fears stop me from doing what it is I want to do.
In just the few days I’ve gone boulder climbing, sword fighting, plays, dinner meetups, clubs, and just hanging out with new people I’ve met. These are a lot of things that even when I was a more social person than I was the past year I didn’t do.
I can only hope that when my 40 days are up, I no longer use the excuse or phrase “I gave up fear for Lent” and continue my fearless living.