Bounce…bounce…bounce…bounce…bounce…bounce…bounce…THERE IT IS!
I see my window. I see my chance to jump in! Will I take it…OF COURSE!
There are many people who are in a “stuck” situation, whether it’s a relationship, life-style, traffic, whatever, and they can’t seem to get out. Even if it’s not necessarily and bad situation, you just feel stuck.
Not moving up in ranks in your job. Not moving up in your significant other’s eyes. Not moving up in this light that’s been red for 5 minutes!
I was waiting on my approval of an apartment I had my eye on for a few days. I stopped being afraid (or faked my confidence long enough) and made it known to the renter that I was interested.
I was willing to go out to LA without a job, but NOT without somewhere to live.
Both are difficult things to do in-state and damn near impossible out-of-state if you don’t have a swimming pool full of cash.
Even with great credit, a car, and 6 months of rent saved up, not many wanted to be the one to take that risk. I get it. There are a lot of crooks out there and you want to be sure that I’m not one. Which is why when I found someone willing to take that chance on me, I wan’t surprised when I was asked for pay stubs, driver’s info, background check, credit check, and a co-signer.
After years of running, months of planning, weeks of preparing, I couldn’t seem to get past the days it took to here back from the results.
Then I got emails and texts about the good news. I got the apartment and had 2 roommates who were already there, so I wouldn’t be alone, and I’d have people who knew the area and they were in the same industry I was trying to get deeper into. It was a match I couldn’t have made any more perfect.
I wanted to be afraid, I tried to be afraid, but I was too excited. Though, I had been down this road before. Excitement, fear, nervousness, doubt and then self-rejection. A vicious circle that I let roll me around for far too long.
So when Lent came up it seemed like the perfect time to give myself a REAL challenge instead of giving up meat for 40 days.
I chose fear.
I gave up fear for Lent. Something that I indulge on in unhealthy doses and let control me from walking down my path.
Without fear, I have no nervousness.
Without nervousness, I have no doubt.
Without doubt, I have no self-rejection.
Everything I felt about this move would have to be stuck on excitement. Not a bad place to be stuck in huh?