Journey To Jelly: Part 2
Moving forward it was like a separate personality. I made it a separate personality. Who I was when I felt like Jeanelle and who I became when I felt like Jelly were two people trapped in the same mind. I took her with me everywhere I went in case I was put in a situation that I felt just Jeanelle wouldn’t suffice.
Moving on to college, leaving the more personal things out, this is a quick journey not a memoir, Jelly became my calling card. If you want to get to Jeanelle, you have to get through Jelly first. Jelly could take the pain of losing a friend, of being betrayed, of doing things without any emotional attachment. Jeanelle, the sensitive one, the artist, couldn’t take it. Though I looked up to Jelly. I was envious of her spirit, her friends, her strength, and I tried everything I could to imitate her. That’s all I became; an imitation of who I wanted to be, not actually who I wanted to be.
Trials and failures later, the fusion happened. Jelly and I were no long two, separated entities, but one brilliant being. Though there are some separation times for the sake of my own sanity, overall, we are the same.
Though, continuously working on myself, still with a lot of work to do, I was an adult and needed to have a more solid goal than “I want to make films”.
Finally completing my journey to Jelly it was time for my next step…..